Punch Drunk Love
by Charmed Sweetly
Summary: Now that she wasn't so much of an alien, Ron Weasley was finally ready to make his move on one Hermione Granger. If only Draco Malfoy could take the hint and get lost. DMHG with one sided RWHG and PPDM


**A/N: Well, I'm taking a break from exam studying and what else am I to do with my time but write? I'm nearly finished the next chapter of 'Oh My Veela' and I decided to post up this one-shot idea that just wouldn't leave my head. Call it another runaway plot bunny.**

**As much as I love Ron, he's pretty... well, he's Ron.**

**Anywho, onto the story! Enjoy!**

**-Ally**

**-**

**Punch Drunk Love**

**-**

Ronald Bilius Weasley woke up one morning with one single purpose in mind for the night: Reveal his feelings to Hermione Jane Granger and win her over.

As he readied himself for his day, he thought of his rather overdue intentions and every single thing that prevented him from getting the girl as soon as he had wanted but really, it wasn't his fault.

During their years at Hogwarts he hadn't really seen Hermione as a girl, much less a young woman. It wasn't that he believed her to be a boy. He wasn't as thick as that. It was more like an unconscious thought of her being an asexual, undefined… well, blob would make her sound like jelly…

But really, she was Hermione, the bookish prude who was more concerned with school and keeping Harry alive to worry about other males.

Not that the redhead thought keeping him and harry alive was a bad thing. After being alive for years, a bloke tends to get used to the feeling of having a heartbeat and breathing. He believed that the Order of Merlin, first class, that Hermione had received was definitely understating her accomplishments.

In a way, Hermione reminded him of the muggle comic book hero Harry had taken him to see in muggle London. It was like watching a talking, coloured _Daily Prophet_ picture. The hero was an alien from outer space who spent his spare time saving a city from death and destruction while his secret identity left him looking like a bumbling dork. More often than not, Superpants looked like he got dressed in the dark, hero or not.

No one could tell him that that didn't sound like the male version of Hermione, only with less bumbling. She was someone who had been far too busy with being a hero to really care about anything other girls would normally care about. And like the intergalactic hero, she was someone you go through life assuming they're one thing but you didn't really know.

Plus, the dressing in the dark thing? Hermione had perfected that as easily as she had perfected the Swish and Flick a long time ago when they were tiny first years.

As he made himself a sandwich, Ron considered when things had changed.

It was after the war when Hermione suddenly started caring about her own appearance. Now that she didn't have to worry about Harry dying at the hands of a psychopathic megalomaniac with no nose and his equally psychotic army, she had started putting an effort into her looks. Ron had found it a little selfish of her but he had always been quite a selfless person.

-

_Harry nudged Ron in the ribs with his elbow causing Ron to sputter and burn his tongue on the hot chocolate his mother had fixed him. "Bloody hell, Harry!" Ron snapped._

"_Ron, look," the raven haired boy muttered. "Hermione!"_

_The redhead looked up from his seat at the table, watching as Hermione walked in, talking to Ginny, oblivious to her best friends' stares._

"_Bloody hell, Harry," Ron whispered, eyeing Hermione's tamed curls and form fitting jeans. "Since when did she have legs that long?"_

_Harry sighed._

_-_

The change had been a pleasant surprise but it had taken some time for him to realize that she was the girl of his dreams. She had still been the same Hermione: witty, smart and talked far too much for one person alone. It had seemed that she was oblivious to all male attention, that is, until Malfoy came along.

Sure he had helped their side, but really, at the end of the day, the blond ferret was still an arrogant prick of the highest quality.

For a long time the redhead had assumed that Hermione agreed; she had seemed to argue with her Head's partner often enough, the ringing in his ears a reminder.

-

_Ron sat at the Gryffindor table with Ginny and Harry flanking his sides, his sister perusing her newest edition of Witch Weekly and Harry formulating a game strategy for the last Quidditch match of the season against Slytherin._

_Hermione was absent from the long table but he didn't think much of it. She was probably reading a book or going over her notes or-_

"_MALFOY!" The Head Girl's shout was heard, causing a few first years to look up, not used to the constant bickering between the two which had seemed to have gotten worse. "What were you thinking deducting points from Cormac like that?"_

_Or she was fighting with Draco Malfoy which seemed to be her new favourite hobby._

"_Forgive me for following rules and harming your perfect boyfriend!" Came the answering shout._

_The two waltzed into the Great Hall, shoving the large doors open. "For the last time, I'm _not_ dating McLaggen, not that it matters. He was tying his shoe!"_

"_He was _loitering._" The blond retorted hotly. "Maybe if you had taken off your rose coloured glasses, you'd have noticed the same thing."_

"_You complete and utter git!" The brunette huffed. "I didn't see you deducting points off of _Astoria Greengrass _when she was fixing her hair."_

"_She was fixing her _hair,_ Granger. Nothing to deduct points from," he spat before adding, "But you took care of her just fine, Granger."_

"_Like you said. Loitering outside of classrooms during a test is forbidden." Hermione told him primly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Malfoy. I've got lunch to eat."_

_There was a loud sigh as the Slytherin ran a hand through his hair, mussing up the blond locks even more. "We'll meet after lunch to work on our Potions assignment, then?"_

"_Well, obviously, Malfoy." Brown eyes narrowed. "Unless of course you're going to help_ Astoria_ with her Arithmancy."_

"_Is it Tuesday? Oh that's right, no, because those would be the days you help McLaggen with Ancient Runes, now, isn't it?" Malfoy sneered._

_Hermione turned on her heel. "After lunch then, Malfoy."_

_As Hermione made her way to them, Ron chuckled. "She really doesn't like him, does she?" He heard his sister sputter and turned towards her as she shot him a disbelieving look. "You alright there, Gin?"_

"_I'm fine," she told him, taking a sip of her pumpkin juice before shooting him a glance of superiority. "I think you should rethink your idea of Hermione and Malfoy, though."_

_He gave her a confused look, wanting to ask her what she meant when Hermione sat down in front of him, giving them all a nod, her cheeks flushed from her mid afternoon argument._

_-_

Lo and behold, a few weeks later, just when the light had flicked on for Ron making him realize just what Hermione meant to him, she had to go and drop a bludger on his head.

She had agreed to date Draco 'McSmirky' Malfoy.

At first he'd thought it was just a passing thing but when it had hit three months, he had given up that train of thought. After graduation he had held on to the belief that they'd drift apart, but it was another three months before he gave that thought up as well. Then he had assured himself that Malfoy wouldn't last. He had been committed to Hermione for over a year but now that he was in control of both Black and Malfoy assets, he probably wanted to sample other witches. It took a year of Hermione living at Malfoy Manor before he started to give up hope...

Ron shook his head, taking a bite of his sandwich and reassuring himself by saying, "That's done with now, though, mate."

And they were finished, though unofficial, as of two weeks ago when the ferret and Hermione had had a large falling out. She wasn't even staying at the Manor anymore.

The redhead took that as a sign. What he planned on telling her was the right thing to do and he had a mind to do so tonight at the birthday party Ginny was hosting for Blaise.

-

After a long training session at the Quidditch Pitch the Canons often used, Ron went home and had a more thorough shower, getting dressed for that Friday evening's party.

He was fiddling with the cuffs of his long sleeved shirt, a piece of Muggle clothing that Ginny had bought him on one of her shopping escapades with Hermione, waiting for said witch to apparate into his home.

Just as he was about to go and floo her, she appeared after the tell tale popping sound of apparition. And there she stood, a smile on her face. "Are you ready to leave, Ronald?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Thanks for helping me out tonight," the redhead began but was waved off with Hermione's delicate hand.

"It's fine, Ron. I think it was a sensible idea to grab yourself a designated apparator if you're going to be drinking tonight. We wouldn't want you to splinch yourself." She grabbed a plastic bag filled floo powder from inside her purse and waved it in front of him. "I even brought us floo powder to use just in case."

He bit back a smug smile as they apparated to the bar his sister was hosting the birthday party at. She had bought his reason.

-

It was an hour into the party, the moon high in the sky when Ron had finally managed to drink his way to find his courage. That was when he noticed that she was absent from the fanfare that was Zabini's party.

He looked around the crowded bar which his sister had booked entirely for the party, spotting Dean Thomas who pointed him to the outside. "Saw her going out the door with Malfoy."

Well, Ron couldn't fall Malfoy for being at his best mate's birthday. He walked towards the doors, exiting the noisy atmosphere, hiding behind a large pillar when he saw them talking. Maybe Hermione was officially ending things with the ferret.

He listened in, catching them in mid-conversation.

"Look Draco, there's really not much more to say. We already know how the other feels is definitely not how we feel. We're at an impasse, because I know I'm not going to change my mind." Hermione stated firmly.

The blond seemed frustrated, a hand running through his hair clear indication. "Hermione, listen to me," he said. "I was nervous. No marriage on either side of my family, Black or Malfoy, has really worked out. I was afraid… I am afraid that…"

'_That what?'_ Ron wanted to ask but it would have given him away and Hermione seemed to understand what he was saying.

"We're not Narcissa and Lucius, or Bellatrix and Rodolphus." Hermione told him gently. "We're Draco and Hermione and that's all that matters. We _love_ each other. Marriage won't change that, Draco."

Ron's blue eyes widened. _'Marriage?'_

But the ferret's voice drowned out the rest of his thoughts.

"I realize that, now, love. The Manor hasn't been the same these past two weeks you've been gone and I just couldn't take a lifetime of you not being by my side." Ron heard the blond say, and he barely contained the urge to gag.

"Hermione Jane Granger, I know my life just wouldn't be the same without you in it. I know that I'd be hallow if you weren't in my arms. I can't think of anyone else I love more in this world than you so will you do me the honour of spending the rest of your life with me?"

And Ron froze as Hermione whispered a watery, but heartfelt, "Yes."

The youngest Weasley brother felt his heart sink and closed his eyes, trying to lightly hum a toune until the couple stopped what sounded to be a long and passionate snog.

"Draco, we can't leave. Blaise hasn't even cut his cake!"

There was a chuckle, but Ron now refused to look. "I'm sure he'll understand why we couldn't eat his cheesecake this year. I think he'll be rather pleased we didn't eat, though."

"Well…" A moan assailed the redhead's ear before a pop was heard in the near distance.

When he knew they were gone, he came out of his hiding place with a frown marring his features, his shoulders slumped. "Firewhiskey," he muttered.

-

It was hours later when barely anyone was left at the bar and he was so incredibly drunk did it dawn on the redhead he couldn't get him. Hermione had the floo powder.

He groaned, leaning his forehead on the counter before turning his head to the left, startled to find Pansy Parkinson with her own head down.

"Draco?" he asked commiseratingly.

"Hermione?" she countered tiredly.

They lifted their glasses in salute and Ron felt a small drunken smile form on his lips.

Well, he might be completely wasted but it seemed the night wasn't.

-

_Finite Incantem_

_-_

**A/N: And there you go! I just couldn't let Ron be alone so I thought, what better way than this? And plus, I got some Astoria bashing in as well. I feel accomplished.**

**Now, back to studying! (Insert sigh here)**

**Review! Go ahead and push that button! It's calling your name!**

**-Ally**


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